Neal hates a thing:      Adele

Many people who know me have been present for the visceral reaction I experience when an Adele song is being played, or when there is any Adele-related conversation taking place within my earshot. First, an anger bubble forms in the music centers of my brain (more commonly known as the Braintoven zone). Second, the bubble bursts, causing me to croak out something to the effect of “…Fuck this noise!” or “….Clicks and whistles!!” This post will hopefully provide some insight into why I have such a problem with Adele and what she represents…. THE complete destabilization of our economy as we know it……….


First off, I’m sure that Mizz Adele is a lovely woman and someone I would enjoy having copious amounts of booze with. She probably doesn’t eat the souls of kittens for brunch.

Don't even think about it.
Don’t even think about it…..

Second, her voice is fine. She’s an adequate singer and I’m sure she’d go very far on American Idlevoice, or whatever horseshit show is on television now claiming to find all the talent in all the people.

So, what’s my beef?

My beef is that she represents the soulless, unoriginal, pop music that’s packaged and manufactured by producers and jagoffs who spend their days doing demographic market research.



“But Neal!! The music is so good and catchy!!!” {said the rando millennial in the back of the room}

In all fairness, I have a few guilty pop song pleasures out there that are extremely catchy. For example, Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake is aces. Also, I cannot confirm or deny, but there may, or may not, be a Brittney song in one of my Spotify playlists. They just happened to strike a chord in my ear holes. But for the most part, the music is either similar and over produced, is peppered with the Millenial Whoop, or  is “sampled” from actual musicians who sat down with an actual musical instrument (note: a computer is not a musical instrument)  and wrote an actual song.

Now, most of this post sounds like it comes from a place of hate.


But in actuality, it comes from a complete love of original music. This is an amazing time for musicians in that anyone with some natural talent can upload themselves to the YouTubes for all the world to see or, for a fraction of what it used to cost, record a professional quality album in the comfort of their home.

I think of it this way. Remember when you were a kid, and all you wanted to eat was chicken nuggets, and you would never dream of trying {insert smelly food here that you hated as a kid but now love}. For me, spinach was one of those foods that, if prepared with love and care is quite delicious. The kind of music I enjoy is handled with love and care.

 “But Neal! What does this have to do with Adele??” {said anyone in the room who doesn’t share my ADD}

While I conceded above that she has an average voice, there are so many other interesting and fantastic voices from female singers that most of the population has never heard. So when I hear people talk about Adele like she’s the greatest female vocalist to come around since Patsy Kline, my brain screams “but…but….what about…..”


Listed below are 3 songs by female vocalists who I think are the bee’s knees.

  1. Every Body – Thao & The Get Down Stay Down
  2. Brazen – The Heartless Bastards
  3. Salina – Laura Marling

“So Neal I’m definitely going to love all three of these songs then right?” {said your mom}


NO! That’s my whole point. A piece of music doesn’t have to be universally loved by everyone all the time. There are some songs I love that I would never recommend to anyone because I know it’s not for everyone. So in closing, am I telling you to go out and burn your favorite Adele hat? No, I’m saying there is more great music out there to listen to now than there ever has been before and it’s waiting to be discovered. So get on that shit!

Leave a Reply